Success is never final; failure is never fatal. It's courage that counts.
It is not surprising that the quote I used as an introduction is from a very famous basketball coach! John Wooden, as head coach at UCLA, won ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period, including a record seven in a row. He was nicknamed the "Wizard of Westwood”.
Many people I coach want to be either wizards or to have a magic wand to do or get what they want and become who they want to be. All the self-development books and experts repeatedly state the same thing: You don’t need to be a wizard to change your life or be who you are! You really do not need a magic wand!
There is no formula to change your life or totally transform it! But it is a good idea to start from letting go off the past!
As a coach, I usually spend the first few sessions listening to my clients tell me who they really are, how much they want to be themselves, what they want to be and the obstacles in front of them. 80% of the time those obstacles are from the past experiences and believe me most of them have no relevance for today or the future. But it seems like some of us like to hold on to the past and don’t want to let it go.
What happens when people hold on to the past? Well, to start with they miss the opportunity to live in the present and plan for a wonderful future. But perhaps the biggest challenge they face is the memories of the past in similar situations which they use for their decisions/choices for today.
Those people who are “stuck” in the past tend to focus on their duties and obligations and therefore they miss their immediate situation. They always experience tension between their present situation/thoughts/actions and commitments made in previous situations. They tend to be ritualistic. They like to hold on to habits as things from the past to inject in to their “present”.
Not surprisingly, they do not like new experiences. They do not seem to appreciate the new ways of doing familiar things. They are afraid of new. They are afraid of taking risks. So, they get stuck with their past.
Being stuck in the past is one of the most important factors that holds people back from living the life they want, being the person they are and transforming their lives. If you ever find yourself in this situation, ask yourself: This is similar to my past, so what are the odds of having the same results/experience a second time? Ask yourself if your assumption is correct?
Remember, it does not matter what your past is, who you were in the past. What matters is to have the courage of being who you are and letting gp of the past. What matters is to have the courage to brake the chain of your past. Unchain your courage! That is what matters.
And you do not need a magic wand. You have all the resources you need. You are a beautiful, smart, skillful human being with love in your heart. You can do it! You can choose love over fear or the shadows of the past.
I believe in you and your ability! You can take the first step in being who you really are by braking the chain with your past. Once you do that, you will see how liberating and fulfilling it is.
As Oscar Wilde once said Be yourself; everyone else is already taken!